I stumbled upon this list of 50 questions that was circulating online, so I decided to answer them, and divulge some fun little facts about yours truly. You guys can answer them too if you so choose. Or don’t. I’m not forcing you to do anything. #prochoice.
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
My mom had some sort of complex against giving “generic” names to her children, so she chose to name me Anthea, and I honestly don’t know where she acquired it from. She claims she just stumbled upon it randomly. At least she didn’t go for Gwyneth Paltrow’s version of unique and name me Apple. #blessed
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
I’m emotionally dead inside so probably not for awhile…
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
It’s a mess but I think it makes me look more professional. Have you ever seen a doctor, lawyer, etc. with good handwriting? No. And also it is hard for other people to read which is what I want. Mind your own business. My writing is the equivalent of the zodiac code.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Ham is disgusting. Pork in general is disturbing to me, and also ever since I watched the first episode of the show Black Mirror, I can’t think about pigs for the rest of my life. If you’ve see it you know exactly what I’m talking about.
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
No of course not. Not at all. Never.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yes, but I want them taken out so I can keep them in a jar on my desk at work.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Yes, I don’t fear death. I embrace it with open arms.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Cheerios, but not the original kind. It is a very specific version because I’m just boujee like that.
These are the ones I like and I am honestly salivating on sight.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
No because I believe in using my time wisely.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Mentally, yes. Physically, no.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Cookies and cream or cookie dough probably. If you answer pistachio or mint to this you are a sick bitch.
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Their face. As a whole. I think it is dumb when people say they notice the eyes first. What if someone has Lisa Rinna status plumped lips? Or Pamela Anderson boobs? Are you really going to notice the eyes first? NO.
15. RED OR PINK?
PINK. The more the better. Think Elle Woods from Legally Blonde. A pink and scented resumé will get you places you never believed possible.
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
Physically- my chin? I want a chin augmentation. If any of you are rich, wire me $3,500 so I can make it happen.
Personality- That I am moody as fuck. My mood changes faster than Donald Trump’s stance on immigration and foreign policy.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
Fidel Castro. RIP.
I’m kidding. I actually don’t even have an answer to this. I guess my friends that are away at college in another state. But absence makes the heart grow fonder, and I like not being obligated to hang out with them year round. Part time friendships are ideal.
18. WHAT IS THE NUTRITION OR FITNESS STRATEGY THAT YOU NEED TO WORK ON THE MOST?
Not craving chocolate like a crack addict that hasn’t gotten their fix every time it hits roughly 7 pm. For fitness I should probably do more than just basic cardio, which is what I currently do. But I couldn’t really be bothered because unless there is a financial incentive I’m just not that interested.
19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Black. It’s the only way. I don’t wear white shoes because I am never going vacationing in The Hamptons, to a clam bake in Montauk, or sailing off the coast of Cape Cod. That is probably the only time I can see myself wearing white shoes.
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
A banana. #potassium
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
I am listening to “Desperado” by Rihanna because certain music enables me to produce my best content.
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
It would be some sort of bluish purple color and it would be called bitchy blue. Very kid friendly.
23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Coffee is all that is coming to mind… Not to sound like a pretentious asshole…Maybe the smell of cookies? I don’t know. What I do know is that people that say lavender or pine need to get their sinuses checked.
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My mom. I called to complain when I was at work. Because I’m just productive like that and I save all my best phone calls for when I’m on the clock.
25. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?
If you aggressively answer mountain hideaway I’m going to assume that you have something horrible to hide, you want to have a place to hold the people you abduct, or you aspire to be like Ted Kaczynski. Realistically I don’t really dream of having either, but I think I would rather have a beach house. I wouldn’t want to live there year round though because it would minimize my chances of being a tsunami victim. You gotta think ahead. Location, location, location.
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Basketball because all of the other ones are fucking BORING. Actually, I like hockey too. Very Canadian.
27. HAIR COLOR?
Naturally light brown, but I make it blonde. #fake
Actually I still have brown roots because I have commitment issues.
28. EYE COLOR?
Brown. And I am very proud of my brown eyes. Why do we treasure blue eyes so heavily in our culture??
It’s because we are subconsciously absorbing Hitler’s propaganda. Question asked and answered. So every time you say that blue eyes are better, or that you wish you had blue eyes, just remember, that makes you a proponent of Hitler. I don’t make the rules.
I’m kidding, blue eyes are beautiful.
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No. 20/20 vision bitches. It’s all the carrots I eat.
30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Tacos probably. Not to be disgusting, but I actually really love salad too. People that put fruit in their salad are fucked up though.
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Scary movies. If I don’t flinch or fear for my own life at least once during a movie viewing experience then it was time wasted.
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Nocturnal Animals with Jake Gyllenhaal and Amy Adams. It was wonderful.
Oh my god I looked it up on Rotten Tomatoes and the critic reviews are the WORST. Here are some samples: “A visually suggestive and narratively audacious film,” “Trying to weigh this spellbinding film’s multifaceted carnage is a mesmerizing experience,” “The hatred incubated in one story transforms into revenge in the next one,” and “A film with a prodigious editing work”. It all just screams I love foreign films and have Stanley Kubrick’s entire filmography shoved up my ass at all times. So annoying.
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
I am wearing a black shirt right now, although my color palette is usually more exciting than this.
34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Not to sound like a basic, sweater wearing, pumpkin spice latte drinking bitch, but why isn’t Fall an option? Rude. Of these two, I guess I pick summer. Although summer in California is too hot and I am probably going to get botox to stop my glands from engaging in sweat production. Life hack.
35. HUGS OR KISSES?
I’m kidding I love a good CONSENSUAL hug.
36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Just straight up chocolate. Or cheesecake. I love cheesecake so much. If someone held me at gunpoint and said I needed to choose between never being able to see my family again, or never eating cheesecake again, I would probably hesitate before answering.
37. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?
Cardio. Even though I need to be doing strength training because someone could probably snap my arms and use them as a tooth picks.
38. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?
Both at the same time because I am a good multi-tasker.
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
In the Blood by Lisa Unger. It’s quite good so far, but I haven’t finished it so I am not going to recommend it just yet. It’s on the right track to getting the official book bitch stamp of approval though.
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Nothing….. what is this 2006…
42. FAVORITE SOUND?
The sound of the Law and Order SVU opening theme song because that’s how I know shit is about to get crazy.
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
The Spice Girls
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
South Africa. #cultured
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I can memorize a lot of information in a really short amount of time, which comes in handy for school. I call it the obtain, momentarily sustain, and never long term maintain method.
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Mountain View, California. Aka the home of Google.
47. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?
Orange County, California. And no I don’t know any of the Real Housewives of Orange County people.
48. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE?
A whiteish beige color with some blue trim because if you aren’t the most unique bitch on the block then what is the point.
49. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?
Blue. Riding in style.
50. DO YOU LIKE ANSWERING 50 QUESTIONS?
I didn’t hate it.
Well that is all 50. I’m really just your average good time gal, so that probably wasn’t too exciting, but now you know. Go ahead and answer these if you want, I would love to see how you all answer these questions. Don’t upstage me and give amazingly interesting answers though, or else I am going to have to re-evaluate my entire life and its current trajectory. Which I don’t have the time for.