Ghosting is something that became widely discussed in 2016. I’m pretty sure it was rampant before then, but I’m not quite sure if the name for it was as well known.
For anyone that perhaps was born and raised in a cult and just escaped the molestation and out of touch ideologies of a raving mad man, ghosting is when you are in a relationship with someone, and then they simply disappear. Not a word. Not a trace.
Cue the Unsolved Mysteries intro.
Subsequent to getting ghosted, it may be tempting to go into full crazy bitch mode. I’m talking Gone Girl status. I’m talking stakeouts at his house and work. I’m talking hacking his ICloud and reading his text messages (then perhaps an “accidental” erasure of everything. Putting that bitch back to factory settings. Oops.)
Although all of this may sound tempting, I think that there are other steps that should be taken first. What inspired me to write this was an interaction I had with a delusional, irresponsible, yet well intentioned girl in one of my classes. She began to explain to me and a friend (completely unprompted might I add) about how the guy she was with for months had completely fallen off the grid. He went full D.B. Cooper on her ass. Immediately – due to my kindhearted nature of course- I felt horrible for her. This is something that no person should have to go through. However, upon further investigation – I’m talking full interrogation mode- some pertinent details were uncovered.
Not only is this girl incredibly outgoing, but her friendliness truly transcends into a place that starts to come off as very Glenn Close from Fatal Attraction. Mix that in with Leighton Meester from the Roommate, with a touch of Angelina Jolie in Girl, Interrupted, and I think it becomes easier to visualize what I am talking about. Sometimes “friendliness” is not a good thing. It can make you look like a fucking stalker. If a guy is overly “friendly” with me I assume he just might Ted Bundy me.
It was revealed that this friendly and intense disposition of hers was apparent upon interactions she had with other guys. In front of her boyfriend. Mix this in with the other overbearing personality elements and it is the perfect recipe to get ghosted.
Now, I’m not saying ghosting is okay to do. BUT, what I am saying, is that if you are ghosted, perhaps your first step should be to self reflect. Instead of wasting your time trying to get the fucking loser that ghosted you back, maybe look to yourself to see why you got ghosted. Especially if it is a reoccurring theme in your life. You can only pull a Taylor Swift and play the victim so many times before it just gets old.
If I were to get ghosted, I would most likely assume that it was because I said something, that to them, finally crossed a line. For example, perhaps telling a guy that he reminds you of a less fun Charles Manson is not an ideal thing to say. Perhaps, asking about his thoughts on the JFK assassination, or where he stands in regards to reptilians in the government is not the best first date material. Maybe telling him not to be so Norman Bates after he texts his mom one time is not the greatest form of discourse. And I would be able to reflect on these little gems of conversation, in order to realize that this is why I got ghosted. Because I’m just so self aware like that.
Side note: I would hardly even consider it to be ghosting. I would see it to be more of an implicit restraining order. No documentation needed.
2017 should be the year of self awareness. You can be a complete psycho. You could be the living and breathing embodiment of 2007 Brittney Spears, and no one would care, as long as you are self aware, and you can own it.
So everyone, own your crazy. Acknowledge your instability. Embrace your idiosyncrasies.
Just some hot tips for ya. YOU’RE WELCOME.