Honestly I needed to take a Xanax before even writing this. Just saying the phrase “group projects” depletes my energy resources for the rest of the day.
What prompted me to write this was the immense and absurd amount of group projects I had this year. I am in my third year of college, and I get that working as a team is an important skill to have, but at what cost???
I had to work with a girl for my PR writing class. She attended class a grand total of about 6 times. She never responded to my text messages. I’m pretty sure it is easier to locate and communicate with Isis than it was to do so with her. I ended up doing the project entirely by myself.
I had another group project for a marketing research class that was with NINE OTHER PEOPLE. Communicating and coordinating with nine other college students who all commute and have jobs is about as easy as fleeing North Korea.
In the majority of group projects that I do, I usually end up doing all of the work. Of course, I cannot fully blame my partners for this, because often times they will try to be involved. I am a bit of a control freak when it comes to projects that entail any ounce of creativity. I like to take some creative liberties, and the more dramatic and eccentric the better. If people are not able to operate on this same wavelength then I would rather ride solo. Even if it means working myself half to death. Like Amazon warehouse worker exploitation status.
The best example of this is for a video I had to make in an intro to women’s studies class I took my first semester of college. I got together with my group, and over the course of several hours, we filmed enough footage for the entire video. Of course, being the shady and insufferable bitch that I am, I told them I would edit and put together the entire video, including doing voice overs. What’s even worse, it that the entire time we were filming, in my head I was saying, “This is not good. Not Oscar worthy at all. This is Lifetime movie status.” So, I went home and I literally wrote, filmed, directed, produced, acted in, edited, etc. an entirely new video. The song “All Me” by Drake was inspired by this process. I warned them the night before we were supposed to watch the video in class that it was going to be a bit different than what we had filmed. I attributed this to not all of the files being able to upload to my computer. A blatant lie.
I stayed up all night making the video. By the time it was done I felt like Christopher Nolan. When the video played, my entire class thought it was hilarious, however, I’m not quite sure my group members were as impressed… Probably because they were not in the video.. at all… And I only used one 10 second clip from the hours that we had spent filming…oops.
My teacher was so obsessed with the video. I saw her several months ago for the first time in a few years and she told me that she still plays my video as the example when she assigns the project.
I’m going to post the video in case you are curious and want to experience how truly ridiculous I am. You will be able to observe that I am in no way exaggerating. Also you can acknowledge the Oscar snub.
Full disclosure: this was several years ago so I was about 20 pounds heavier and had horrid brown hair. It is what it is.
Just some background info on the video: it was supposed to be about how science distorts information to make the egg look weak in fertilization?? And sperm are the ones that are actually weak?? Fuck, I don’t know.
P.S – this is really embarrassing don’t judge me.